|Posted by mamato2 on November 26, 2010 at 4:23 PM|
What is it about the holidays that make us so nostalgic? Memories past? Family together? Loved ones that aren't here any longer? For a girl that borders on the outer edges of sanity when it comes to emotions anyway, it is a hard time of the year to be me.
There is the whole "the kids are growing so quick" thing that is probably the one to bring tears the quickest. Danielle is 12 now. If I am blessed to have her home till she goes to college if she does, I have 5 more years with her. It seems I just picked out her little one piece outfit she wore in her first Christmas picture in the stocking.
There is the whole "what have I done to please God this past year?" thing. This one brings shame as I see how much time i have spent on trivial pursuits and selfish wants. I could do so much better.
There is the whole "I could be farther on my diet if I hadn't gotten derailed a few times" thing. I don't so much care about this one because on the whole I have still lost a good chunk, but I can't help but think about it.
There is the whole family and friend get togethers that have the whole "I will be nice to you now, because you have proved yourself worthy by not being a fat slob this year". This one makes me want to tell them to jump off a cliff. I am the same person inside. The number on the scale is all that has changed. Ok and maybe on my clothing size but that's about it. I admit I am able to overcome a lot of fears to share who I am a little better now that I have lost, but what I share if the same silly, emotional, mess of a person I have always been.
And then there is the whole "food makes everything funner and better memories" thing. Of course I want my kids to grow up and say, oh lets make those cookies mom use to make us. Or remember the breakfast pizza mom made on Christmas morning every year? That's life, like it or not. Food and memories go hand in hand. Yep, I could serve them other things, but I doubt they grow up and say, "Mmmm, remember those carrot sticks mom fed us that one Christmas?". I just wish I could do baking and have the will power to stay out of it, but alas if it is being made in my kitchen the sad truth is I will eat way to much of it.
So, I am wondering what this had to do with my weigh in today? Not much, I guess. I lost almost 3 that I gained last week. New program starts next week which I am nervous, but excited about. Basically this is just some random thoughts that have been plaguing me and I thought if I wrote them out they would go away.
Here is to a great week on plan!